A Brief Facebook Comment

Amy, First off, I should mention that since President Barrack Obama won his second election, and after doing this way too much, I’ve avoided engaging in these types of back-n-forths.  Your comment is categorized under “these types” because everything you’ve expressed here I disagree with on such a fundamental level that it is clear to me that nothing I say will be changing any of your viewpoints.  That being said, since we’ve been friends since you were “serendipitously seated next to me in Mrs Brewers 6^th grade class” and likely will be still when we are grandparents, I find it entirely worthwhile to attempt to get you to stand in my shoes and see the world as I do, even if only for a brief moment.  So please feel free to respond, and know that I will read with an open mind, but for me this is a one-and done

“I'd like to think he did that when he was young, stupid & didn't know any better.”

Of course you would “like to think” this, but I like to build arguments with facts supported by evidence.  In the quote, we see a post-war, hero-status and grownup Kyle speaking carefully while crafting a book that tells his reader just who he is. It went through multiple revisions with countless edits He’s not saying “I was young and dumb and abused animals.”  He’s supporting his argument that those he killed had to be killed by likening them to his stupid cows that had to be beat.  In truth, of all the situations I mentioned in my piece, Chris Kyle barely registers on my passion-meter. 

I only folded him into the argument as an example of what we, as Americans, get behind verses what we ignore. Conversely, you do seem to be quite passionate about Mr Kyle, so I shared the passage knowing how truly dedicated you are to ridding the planet of abuse towards animals wondering if this might change your view on Kyle.  It did not because you replaced fact with a hopeful opinion that would keep everything in its convenient and tidy black and white categories.  Your comment is wrought with this black and white imagery.  “taking selfies…  [following the] Kardashians”  Vs.  “[facing the] brutalities of war”….  “Bash Chris Kyle”  Vs “Bash Isis” … our skilled military Vs. “savages… [and] barbarians”… etc.  Interestingly, Kyle uses the phrase “black and white” throughout his book first, when describing how he was able to kill so effectively without hesitation.  Sometimes, I’m almost jealous of the ability to think in these terms.  It would make my life a helluva lot less stressful.  Unfortunately, the world I live in is not at all black and white and people aren’t inherently good nor intrinsically bad.  Believe it or not we’re all the same at life’s onset.  This truth consistently has me asking myself, “well what if that other life was mine… those truths were mine?”  I’m a firm believer that this type of thinking (two-sided thinking -- an executive function, once a marker of the fully developed adult mind) is what is most lacking in a world most in need of it….  But I digress… Perhaps, I will stick to responding to your post.

“I am thankful there are men out there as skilled as he was to protect our freedoms...”

Objection, your honor!  Leading the witness!  This is a go-to tactic for you and your kind, Aim!  You know exactly how I wish to respond to this when talking about the invasion of Iraq (sovereign nation) and how this “protect[ed] [my] freedoms.”   Well, I’ll respond to this only one on one and in person and only if you can actually manage to utter that quote with a straight face.  Responding here could offend many friends and family of friends that have served whom I have the utmost respect for.  Truly.  I can’t imagine the things our soldiers go through and do believe them to be heroes.  BUT, this does not mean I have to support every (or any) conflict (err…  invasion > occupation) that endangers their precious lives.  Again, these issues are not black and white… Not at all.

“I imagine it would be satisfying to know you ended a life that was about to take your own...  That’s war.”

No you wouldn’t.  You’re a good, kind human and killing another person, even if it was entirely necessary, would forever bother you. War most definitely has shown many that the world is not black and white.  My grandfather fought in WWII and told countless stories about insane situations he and his brothers in arms went through but he never, ever spoke of the fighting.  And he never celebrated victory, never mind another human’s untimely death.  He was shot by a sniper.  The bullet entered the base of his neck and left a crater-of-an exit wound on his upper back.  The bullet was literally centimeters away from a kill shot.  He openly would profess that he forgave that man who almost killed him and held no ill will towards him.  Amazing, no?  That is war.  My Pa’s hero was Robert E Lee.  He had this to say of war: “What a cruel thing war is... to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors.”  That is war.  Dwight D. Eisenhower said this, “I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.”  That…that is war.  I personally haven’t lived through or seen one, but I’m gonna take these guys’ word for it and my take away will be that this is what an appropriate human response to war looks like.

“… has the safety to run their mouth & bloviate their opinions.”

Sorry, sis but that right there is America.  Contrary to popular belief, being patriotic actually means honoring what our brave forefathers set in motion by questioning and challenging authority in an effort to insure that the people hold the power.  The people… not the military… not the police… not one politician… the People.  Their dream for us people is in severe jeopardy at this very moment in history.  For me, that is a black and white issue.  That’s right there is a potential book-length topic and so I return to the task at hand.

I never “bashed” Chris Kyle.  I said I believed he was “damaged” and “angry” and I supported my findings by highlighting his ability to celebrate taking so many lives and his comparing those lives to the cows he beat on.  Angry and damaged…  This is not the stuff of bashings, is it?  The fact that he was unwavering in his stance that of those 160 that he killed each and every one undoubtedly deserved it and that he stood entirely without internal conflict seems to suggest an inhuman quality, thusly I deemed him with these titles of “damaged” and “angry.”  As I write though, I’m starting to think that maybe I was wrong.  Shit!  I have no evidence to support this, but in stepping back, I would bet in private moments he questioned whether or not each and every one of those people he killed were inherently evil and did deserve it.  After all, humans are not black and white.

As far as “bashing” those others…  the enemy…  the barbaric savages…” while, of course the atrocities you’ve mentioned cause me to be “outraged”  I can only work within my community and ask that we accept the truth that they, at least at some point, were humans like you and I.  Doing this begs the questions, “why?” Why do they do what they do?  Deeming them “evil” is a simplification and a dangerous one at that.   Returning to Chris Kyle’s war, wherein we mistakenly dropped bombs on an orphanage and a hospital in just its first week and a low ball estimate of total Iraqi civilian casualties since 2003 lies at around 133,000 (or the equivalent of 44 September 11ths….  I’m letting that sink in for a sec……..) I ask you this:  If tonight a bomb dropped on your house dismembering and killing everyone that you love but you were left to live, and if you knew who was responsible, what would you do?  Think about it.  Me?  My tormented, calculated, and violent response would likely cause those responsible – those on the receiving end of my rage - to forever refer to me as a savage….  a barbarian…  a terrorist.   Humans are not black and white.

If you actually, somehow made it this far I must thank you for providing this space to personally work some of these ideas out.  I hope you see this not as an attack, but instead written with supreme respect and with a shred of hope that you might get where I’m coming from.  Love you sis!