Ballghazi: Ignoring the Good Doctor, a Dash of Chris Kyle for Flavor, Because... ‘Murica


 Oh, if only there were a shred of evidence that the Patriots intentionally deflated some balls during a game they would’ve won easily even if boulders were substituted for balls.  If there were only actual evidence of wrongdoing (wrongdoing, mind you, that multiple quarterbacks and players have, just this week, confessed to taking part in stating that this is the unspoken league “norm”).  If we had this evidence then, surely, we just might be allowed to see this whole story get buried. 

Isn’t that how it works?  

In 2011, before shooting himself in the chest Andre Waters wrote the words, "Please, see that my brain is given to the NFL's brain bank." Though no note was found, a year later when Junior Seau ended his life with a shotgun blast to the chest, it doesn’t seem a stretch to assume he, too, was preserving this crucial piece of evidence for us all to learn from.  And learn we did.  This evidence, when looked at alongside many other similar tissue samples helped to complete a groundbreaking study that made the link between a frequently concussed brain and severe depression + loss of executive functioning.  Here, too, this useful evidence has assured that we never hear the National Football League ever utter the words, “chronic traumatic encephalopathy.”

Scandal + Evidence  = Cover It Up

When the league viewed Ray Rice knocking his wife out cold in a hotel elevator before dragging her lifeless body behind him it was a media frenzy though, right?  No.  It very wasn’t.  They tried to bury the story.  Rice was quietly suspended for two games.  Only in September, once we all were made privy to this second video that left no questions regarding what transpired that night…  only then did the NFL handle the incident in a manner that seemed fitting in regards to what we expect from our fellow human friggin’ beings.    

Scandal + Evidence  = Cover It Up

When Mike McQueary walked in on the “evidence” of Jerry Sandusky in the middle of anally raping a ten-year old boy, instead of ending the act he quietly backed out of the room and ran to ask dad what to do…  completely understandable.  He was a young assistant coach.  Thankfully Mike and Dad returned the next day to report the felony to super-coach Joe Paterno who then shared the info with his boss Tim Curley and that’s when the media frenzy began right?  Nope.  They decided a stern talking to would be more fitting.  The rest of us found out 9 years and god only knows how many little boys later.  Though not the NFL, I believe we can agree this last example fits tidily under the same basic umbrella.   

Scandal + Evidence  = Cover It Up

Oh if only in the world of deflategate/ballghazi there were some hard evidence!  Then surely the NFL would make it all go away.  In fact, the NFL is only a tiny piece of the problem wherein we find ourselves today.  The media will feed us and feed us all we ask for all the while kicking the crap out of a dead dog over and over again.  Our favorite snack, as it were?  Watching the hero fall.  Yes, we will tune in to this show 100 times in a row rather than watch the one that teaches us a little something about ourselves or even sheds some light on how we might save each other.  We love nothing more than the suffering of others.

Or do we?  

In Boston the newspaper, radio and local news hours seem almost entirely dedicated to deflated balls this week – specifically, how Brady and BB are responding, “squirming," etc.  But I seem to remember actual suffering happening right here in Boston this week when a “nice man…  licensed to carry a firearm” strolled into a hospital and shoots Michael Davidson dead – a man dedicated to “saving lives and improving the quality of life for every patient he cared for” – a man who also held the prestigious title of “father of four children” though, tragically, he’ll never meet his fourth.  Why don’t we love this suffering with such fervor and focused attention?

Perhaps in focusing on this tragedy instead of the PSI levels of balls used in a game played by overgrown men we might learn something bigger than rushing fumbling rates and the catchability of a flatter ball.  Maybe, if we take a nationwide snapshot of gun violence in this very moment – the same moment that’s instead occupied by deflategate  - we might learn something more useful.  It couldn’t hurt to click on some keys, right? 

While a Google search won’t easily yield results concerning gun violence in our poorer communities (because come on!  Who actually gives a shit about them?) it will tell us that this week the following events did transpire:  a nine-month old infant was shot and killed by his 5 year-old brother; a two-year old shot and killed himself; two sisters (11 and 15) did shoot and kill their own brother.  Yes.  This week that happened.  Maybe…  just maybe, we should be putting some attention on this suffering instead of Bill and Tom’s, no?  I mean, it seems that we could come together and find a way to prevent this supreme amount of actual suffering for other future families.  But by all means, if talking about how Aaron likes his puffed up and extra-firm while Tom enjoys the softer, saggier side of the ball seems more important to you, well go for yours.  This is America for Chrissakes, right?!

A late-night viewing of Bill Maher’s program last night sparked this rant.  His “panel” collectively addressed this phenomena of what, we as a society, choose to focus on.  “American Sniper” is a far and away smash hit — a walk off.  Real life Chris Kyle boasted of enjoying killing Iraqi “savages.”  He likened them to his farm animals.  These stupid beasts could only be taught through a systematic process of beatings delivered by Kyle upon the animals' skulls  (in his book Kyle shares that he actually broke his hand as a result of issuing these beatings on more than one occasion).  Chris Kyle was angry.  He was damaged.  Much of this country is angry and damaged.  Hearing the word “hero” attached to this character with this shared trait of anger (one all-too-often frowned upon) makes one feel truly good about himself or herself.  For these people, the anger coupled with the black and whiteness that Mr Kyle presents is a welcome sight to behold:  good guy; patriot; bad-ass; ‘murica.

We don’t require a steady diet of actual suffering — not the ample evidence a planet dying before our eyes, nor news of our neighbors being killed in the street by those “sworn to protect” all because their skin is a different color, and certainly not news of a few random folks dying as a result of ridiculously loose gun laws (because they were the irresponsible minority of gun owners, see?).  No, news like that makes folks feel shittier and apparently, they already feel plenty-o-shitty.  We like the suffering of those different looking evil folks who try to fuck with us.  We can rejoice as they suffer.  We like the suffering of those who thought they were so, so smart.  We feast on the suffering of politicians who we voted against.  But even more than that, what we love…  what we would fucking mainline straight into our collective carotid arteries if we could, is the suffering of folks who were happier than us, smarter than us, who thought they were about to conquer the world before “it” happened.  Ahhhh…  That shit’s the best!


So, more talk about the balls, stat!  Let’s string up Bill and Tom again today, please and thank you.  Come prime time tonight, let’s strip search 'em for hidden deflating technology… live…  pay per view….  on some stage in a really, really cold room (more deflating).  Popcorn please!

To the family of Michael Davidson and all future Michael Davidson’s I can only offer my deepest sympathies, apologize on behalf of my fellow man and offer you this one parting phrase that has somehow brought me some peace as of late:  Evolution is Slow….  Painfully fucking slow.

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